Funny Things about the Marriage:

1. Getting married is like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.

2. At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "and aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other replied, "Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."

3. Before a man is married he is incomplete. Then when he is married, he is finished.

4. Marriage is an institution in which a man losses his bachelor's degree and the woman gets her master's status.

5. A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying for it."

6. Young son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?" Dad: "That happens in most countries son."

7. Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and then it was too late."

8. A happy marriage is a matter of give and take; the husband gives and the wife takes.

9. When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why, Affair?

10. Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

11. After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." And the husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it."

12. A man inserted an advertisement in the classified: "Wife wanted". The next day, he received hundreds letters. They all said the same thing "You can have mine."

13. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or his wife is new.

14. A woman was telling her friend: "It is I who made my husband a millionaire." “And what was he before you married him?" the friend asked. The woman replied, "A multimillionaire."

PROFESSOR'S LOGIC

A college student was in a philosophy class which had a discussion about God's existence. The professor presented the following logic:
"Has anyone in this class heard God?" Nobody spoke.
"Has anyone in this class touched God?" Again, nobody spoke.
"Has anyone in this class seen God?" When nobody spoke for the third time, he simply stated, "Then there is no God."
One student thought for a second, and then asked for permission to reply. Curious to hear this bold student's response, the professor granted it, and the student stood up and asked the following questions of his classmates:
"Has anyone in this class heard our professor's brain?" Silence.
"Has anyone in this class touched our professor's brain?" Silence.
"Has anyone in this class seen our professor's brain?"
When nobody in the class dared to speak, the student concluded, "Then, according to our professor's logic, it must be true that our professor has no brain!"
You can't argue with that!

THINGS I LEARNED IN COLLEGE

- That it didn't matter how late I scheduled my first class; I'd sleep right through it.
- That I could change so much and barely realize it.
- That college kids throw airplanes too.
- That if you wear polyester everyone will ask you, "Why are you so dressed up?"
- That every clock on campus shows a different time.
- That if you were smart in high school--so what?
- That I would go to a party the night before a final.
- That Chem labs require more time than all my classes put together.
- That you can know everything and fail a test.
- That you can know nothing and ace a test.
- That I could get used to almost anything I found out about my roommate.
- That MOST of my education would be obtained outside of my classes.
- That I would be one of those people my parents warned me about.
- That free food served until 10:00 is gone by 9:50.
- That Sunday is a figment of the world's imagination.
- That Psychology is really Biology, and that Biology is really Chemistry,
- That Chemistry is really Physics, and Physics is really Math.

Rabbit: Thesis for PhD

THE RABBIT'S THESIS

One sunny day a rabbit came out of her hole in the ground to enjoy the fine weather. The day was so nice that she became careless and a fox snuck up behind her and caught her.
"I am going to eat you for lunch!" said the fox.
"Wait!" replied the rabbit, "You should at least wait a few days."
"Oh yeah? Why should I wait?"
"Well, I am just finishing my thesis on 'The Superiority of Rabbits over Foxes and Wolves.'"
"Are you crazy? I should eat you right now! Everybody knows that a fox will always win over a rabbit."
"Not really, not according to my research. If you like, you can come into my hole and read it for yourself. If you are not convinced, you can go ahead and have me for lunch."
"You really are crazy!" But since the fox was curious and had nothing to lose, it went with the rabbit. The fox never came out.
A few days later the rabbit was again taking a break from writing and sure enough, a wolf came out of the bushes and was ready to set upon her.
"Wait!" yelled the rabbit, "You can't eat me right now."
"And why might that be, my furry appetizer?"
"I am almost finished writing my thesis on 'The Superiority of Rabbits over Foxes and Wolves.'"
The wolf laughed so hard that it almost lost its grip on the rabbit. "Maybe I shouldn't eat you; you really are sick ... in the head. You might have something contagious."
"Come and read it for yourself; you can eat me afterward if you disagree with my conclusions."
So the wolf went down into the rabbit's hole and never came out.
The rabbit finished her thesis and was out celebrating in the local lettuce patch. Another rabbit came along and asked, "What's up? You seem very happy."
"Yup, I just finished my thesis."
"Congratulations. What's it about?"
"'The Superiority of Rabbits over Foxes and Wolves.'"
"Are you sure? That doesn't sound right."
"Oh yes. Come and read it for yourself." So together they went down into the rabbit's hole.
As they entered, the friend saw the typical graduate abode, albeit a rather messy one after writing a thesis. The computer with the controversial work was in one corner. And to the right there was a pile of fox bones, on the left a pile of wolf bones. And in the middle was a large, well-fed lion.
The Moral of the Story:
The title of your thesis doesn't matter. The subject doesn't matter. The research doesn't matter. All that matters is who your advisor is.

The Winner Story

"The Winner is one who gets success in implementation of his/her own thoughts"
The story begins at 9:00 PM after dinner at our hostel in Naini, Allahabad. We were fond of playing Badminton and Table Tennis. The passion blowing to endless sky. We were applying all our 'Engineering Formulas' to dominate the rivals. Actually the play ground outside was our real classroom because Professor's words in the lectures for us was alien languages . My room mate was completely dissolved in books and I was trying to float outside the room full of Photostat copies of notes & books scattered here and there and of course the unbearable fragrance of my socks ( I was a french Bather). I was waiting for somebody to call me for a game because there if you call some body to play then its your responsibility to arrange the main component of Badminton game i.e SHUTTLE COCK and there is always scarcity of SHUTTLES as the numbers we were getting in internals. Suddenly my badminton partner( we were officially a tag team) shouted outside. I was feeling like invited toOscar awards for best actor. I took my Badminton Racket and proudly made entrance in the playground but soon realized that he wanted to borrow my Racket. At least happy due to the reason that still there was a chance to play because the senior seems to be almost drunk. I stucked in que and was waiting for my turn.CHOW(my partner) was really an astonishing player ( as we won every match due to his shots only). My smashes proved to be a HALUWA for my opponents but I was really juggler in the game coz my timings and directions were superb. Senior, as our plans was totally tired by confusing distanced shots by CHOW in just few minutes and left the game. We were surprised by a new shuttle..HA HA. Chow propsed double game as the shuttle was new and we can practice in a team. I agreed and call our two friends. They also entered into the field as they already won the match( Calling somebody for the match was a matter of proud for invitation holders). The game started and as usual Chow hold our side completely. My job was only to serve and receive serves. Suddenly opponents got the clue that I am the Black whole of my team and started increasing the scores. I will not mention how coz I cant insult myself in good words. Chow was in his full swirl and was dying to return in the game. Suddenly I returned one smash( I dont know how but I was simply swinging my racket in circular motion and completely unaware when cock stucked in the racket reflected on the blind spot of one opponent). Every body was shocked on my return as it jammed the opponent to push back. I got the clue and tried few shots dropping the shuttle into blind spots of opponents . Some of them were marvelous and some resulted out of the court. But soon my thoughts were succefully get reflected on my returns and I mastered in pushing the cock in blind spots. Chow was very happy and prompting me to take the lead. I cooperated him in smashing too. Our scores started increasing and our tag team become famous as now we had MIND mixed with POWER in our games.
There I learnt that "The Winner is one who gets success in implementation of his/her own thoughts".

In the Third Year of our Engineering course We became the champions of our college for complete two years and mastered the game with these small experiments we had in the court. We have won many tournaments held at different colleges and at different levels at the place.

Must Visit

http://www.ritzway.blogspot.com
for Strategic Architecures of Technology & Business
http://www.incgkp.blogspot.com
for ICFAI National College, Gorakhpur